Thursday, May 29, 2008

The only man in America with less credibility than O.J.

Because he hasn't brought enough shame to his name, everyone's favorite wide-stancer Larry Craig is penning a tell-all about his run-in with a Minneapolis bathroom stall.

"There will be a bit of what's happened in the last year, and the way it evolved," Craig said. "I think that's important for Idaho and those outside Idaho who are interested to know."

Some advice, Mr. Senator: We already know what happened. We don't need to read about it in a book. It's called a 24 hour news cycle, and in your case I think we're well past spin. It's time for you to start trying to not tell people what "really" happened. Seriously. Ask Ted Haggard about it- the sooner you stop telling us, the sooner we'll forget about you and get back to talking about high gas prices, Hillary's delusions of grandeur, or maybe even Lindsay Lohan's budding relationship with Samantha Ronson. We've got a really short attention span and most Americans are probably more concerned with the fact that Idaho actually gets two Senators than that one of them has a wider stance than Carlton Fisk on the toilet.

No comments: